Hey,
A week or so ago, I submitted my next novel to my editor. It’s technically a second draft, but it feels a lot like a first to me. I remember this stage, and I’m saying to myself, “oh, I remember this”.
To be transparent, I hate what I’ve written. I don’t mean I think the whole thing needs scrapped, but it isn’t the best version yet. It’s clunky. The pacing is all wrong. I don’t don’t like the flow. The characters still fall flat. There’s something there, but it’s not totally revealed yet. The story is hiding from me. But that’s the process. It hides, and I need to uncover it with drafts.
Write and re-write. That’s what the story demands.
But I’m uncertain through the whole thing. I think there’s something there, but it’s only my suspicion. There’s always the possibility I’m wrong. But I suppose there’s something to learn in that as well.
Now, I wait for initial feedback. In the meantime I’m refilling the creative tank. Reading. Thinking. I’ve already got ways to improve it.
Here we go.
Thanks for the kind words. I’m not sure it’s perfectionism. It seems to be a natural part of the process - it’s seeing a version of something in my head and realizing what a poor representation it is. Even the final version won’t be exactly what was in my mind, but it’ll be closer. I’ll get closer to what it’s supposed to be with each draft.
Sound like a perfectionist! Probably one of the reason your first book was so good. You aren't willing to settle for mediocre work. 👍🏻